The reason why I chose watercolor is because of the relationship between paper, pigment, and water. I appreciate watching the pigment seep through the cotton of the paper. This interaction between the water and paper allows me to physically create my form of acceptance. It’s therapeutic because I am never satisfied with myself but I can be with my pieces since I create them ideally. Part of the reason why I don’t include heads on my figures is that I am disassociated from my body when painting these bodies. It’s a form of self-validation.
The content in my paintings replicate how I view myself. Because I struggle with my appearance daily, I am hyper-aware of how other people may perceive me. Each piece has its background as to why I am insecure in my skin. This can tie into my early childhood being fat-shamed, what type of porn my old partners watched and how my body type was completely different from the women they fantasized about, and how I hyper-fixate on who is watching my Instagram stories and worrying about their perception of me. All of these are completely different but contribute to the hypersexualization of women in today’s society and the burdens on their image.
